I used to love posting on Facebook when I began my business it was pretty cool to watch my likes grow…..now 2 years later I feel frozen before I post. What’s that about? I mean what happened to the carefree, happy postings that were not meant to do anything other than post info about what I thought was interesting, funny or a must read for anyone out there. I realized I have become judgmental about my own beliefs and started questioning myself more and more.

Some may think that is a good thing, I however feel that this really shook me from my happy place and tossed me in a heap of the sticky unknowing. I have been sitting in this place now for quite some time and once you get here, it is hard to pull yourself back to where you were. In fact, I’m not sure if I will ever be back in my cushy little blissful social media life because now there is this new facet, one that has been tainted by people I don’t even know and that is part of who I am now.

Which direction do I take? I’ve never had to ask myself this, I’ve been a happily driven entrepreneurial spirit since I was in college . What do I do to get my “me” back?

I think what started my gradual slippage was the constant need to keep up with  the social media bandwagon. Christ, it’s constant! Then trying to keep up with the format changes on Facebook, WordPress, Instagram, my website….  and link them together and post things daily because there is tooooo much pressure from your colleagues when you see all their stuff…..aaahhhhhh, IT’S TOO MUCH!!!

I just became frozen and I gradually started slipping and loosing my interest.

Of course there are also those jerks out there who say they are your friend (but really who has 400+ “friends”)  who just want to argue their point to the death knowing that they make you look like an ass if you counter their post. I know this seems trivial, and years ago I would never think this could affect me this way, but it got me and has kept me quietly wondering if anyone else knows what this feels like.

There is an addiction to checking in with these social websites, and before you realize it you have become hooked and are an internet junkie. You can spend all day at your computer and pretty much not do a dam thing but waste your life trying to create an image of what you would like others to think you are. I used to think our kids are so screwed up because they never had a moment to focus on their life without all of their friends knowing what they were doing. I’m right about that and did not notice that my life too has been greatly affected by this world of social media posting, reading, and keeping up with it all.

I feel relieved that while I was awake in the wee hours of the dark morning I was able to decipher the monkey chatter in my head; you know that voice that keeps you awake after you wake up to pee. While the world was quiet my brain was fully active with great ideas, direction and energy and a message to myself that I still have it and in order to go get it I must let go of the time freezing comparisson that has grown from getting way too connected.

I love my blog, it is where I come to share my thoughts, recipes and the part of me that did not get lost on the social media self judgment witch hunt! I feel peaceful reeling myself back in and am thankful for those crystal clear thoughts that I paid attention to last night, I feel unstuck and ready to roll. I’m going to feed my chickens, clean my bunny pens and check back into my life!

As with all days eat, heal, be true to your inner voice and live your life like no one is watching!

Jennifer